I can’t really speak
This feeling’s intense
The words hit my tongue
I can’t make any sense
I have trouble emoting
This strange kind of thing
I can’t tell you I love you
So I’ll just have to sing
You walk in the room
This shy smile turns wide
I no longer have a reason
To run away and hide
I know that you’re here
I don’t have a choice
I’ll just take a deep breathe
To stop the trembling of my voice
I have trouble emoting
This strange kind of thing
I can’t tell you I love you
So I’ll just have to sing
I knew when I saw you
Outside of my door
I would fall in so hard
That my chest would hit the floor
But I didn’t know how fast
Or how much it would extend
I had no clue for once
I would not have to pretend
I have trouble emoting
This strange kind of thing
I can’t tell you I love you
So I’ll just have to sing
your eyes
I've wanted to kiss you a thousand times, at least
since the thousand or so minutes since i did last
and i hear your voice in my head
both soothing and
exhilarating
please keep your fingers more careful than precarious
i can't stand the thought of falling
my brittle heart cracking
on the cold sidewalk
outside of the rivergate
or Lincoln center
or any of the other thousand places I've thought to myself
"is this real?"
i think i would like it if you stopped looking at me
like that
that way with your head slightly tilting
and your eyes piercing into me
i can't seem to control myself when you do
i want to scratch
bite
kiss
hit you and run away
any excuse to feel your skin on mine
i can't fake not wanting this
i can't act my way out of this paper bag I'm in
trying to catch my breath
waiting for the rush to subside
trying to find somewhere to hide
hoping you'll find me anyway
and look at me like that
that way with your head slightly tilting
and your eyes piercing into me
any excuse to feel your eyes
we're at hole 10
where'd the first 9 go
i want to explain me
but you already know
i am way too exposed
so open and surprised
that this fearful wall of ice
melts when i feel your eyes
i'm cold and hot at once you see
your hands seem to find where they should be
if you could just lie here with me
and let me read you "the giving tree"
i'd twirl your hair in my fingers
and kiss you on your forehead
feel your hands on my back
trace the outline of your mouth
tell you i am here,
i am
not even close to punking out
i like you when you're next to me
but more so when you're not
when there's music playing in the haze
of reality shows and pot
i feel myself falling
down the rabbit hole
but i'm not scared enough yet
i don't want to end this roll
and i know it's going to escalate
i know it'll spin out of control
like i feel when you are near me
but more so when you're not
when there's music playing in the haze
of reality shows and pot
i can't contain it
i want you so badly
i feel it all over
in my head heart and body
Brush my hair out of my face
Look me in the eyes
When I’m with you I’m in a dream
When I’m not I’ll fantasize
It’s hard to show you what I mean
Without it sounding trite
I try to find the words to use
But you’ve already gotten them right
You can write me a letter
You can say it even better
I don't mind if you watch me sleep
It won’t give me the creeps
Because I feel this feeling now
I know it's you somehow
It’s you I adore
And I can’t wait for more.
you don't know me
only who I show
it's my vain attempt at beauty
disguised as an inner glow
you see only what you want
you don't know who's inside
let me know what you're looking for
so I know which parts to hide
I don't want you
But you’re so close to what I need
I always know what to say
but I’m finding it hard to breathe
and I don't know where I’m going
if I’ll fall forward or behind
I only know tonight
and tonight you're on my mind
I want you to be wrong
About this being right
If only you were someone else
I could forget about tonight
You ask 'what happens when we die'?
I tell you what you're thinking
I read your stories again twice
You ask to hear my singing
I don't want you
But you’re so close to what I need
I always know what to say
but I’m finding it hard to breathe
and I don't know where I’m going
if I’ll fall forward or behind
I only know tonight
and tonight you're on my mind
inhale the smoke your breathe comes out I want you home I want you now it's hard to know which way this goes I want it both I hope this grows
I don't know where you came from
Or who you think you are
I’ve known you for what seems like minutes
But you're stuck here like a scar
And now I take a cautious step
In to the deep end of the pool
Hoping that when you see who I am
You’ll still think I’m kind of cool
I know you will and that's okay
Alright so that's a lie
I hope its wrong I’m scared it is
I’m scared one day you’ll make me cry
I tell you I’m an open book
You wonder if that's true
You think we’re on a different page
But you’re wrong, I feel it too
I don't want you
But you’re so close to what I need
I always know what to say
but I’m finding it hard to breathe
and I don't know where I’m going
if I’ll fall forward or behind
I only know tonight
and tonight you're on my mind
i feel like walking back
backwards through the night
i'll probably trip and fall
but in the end i'll make it right
and i can't understand
why things turned out like this
i was so sure so long ago
the night we shared that kiss
and now you're someone else
happier and more secure
but i loved you so back when
you were cold and weak and so unsure
she loves who you are now
that you smile and show your soul
but she doesn't know how you got there
that it was me who made this mold
i want you to be loved and held
to hear the whipser of your name
to know that someone dreams of you
and doesn't allow you a bit of shame
so i will take a step back now
not back in time but back tonight
i'll trip and fall and cry through it all
but in the end i'll make it right
today moves slower than any day these last 10 years
i feel like i'm getting swallowed by rent, bills, booze and careers
can't find the milk to go in my coffee
no one ever told me my expectations were too lofty
maybe i should take a step back - look back C Em- G
to when i knew white from black G D Am
kisses make it better D
the rain makes my hair wetter Am
but when i sleep head on his chest G Em
that is when i know me best Am D
that is when i know me best Am G
the mind is filled with problems and choices
it clouds my soul's music and muffles the voices
it's intense it's mundane and i feel so inane
it's like i don't know me from the face in the frame
the seconds move like eons and the people dash like peons
i feel ilusive and secondary
time to pop my real world cherry
