the other side of D...my life in private

They are more than good, they're great.

Then how come I get so absorbed in the neurosis of my friends?

Getting frustrated when they make the wrong choices; getting wrapped up in the drama of their single, dramatic, complicated lives.

When I was in college, or high school, or even my post collegiate single phase- my life was a hot mess, or so I can see from up here on my horse. Even though my life was seemingly out of control, I always dubbed myself the fixer...always navigating my friends and family through the rocky waters of life...always somehow avoiding my own conflicts and stupidities.

Now the stiletto is on the other foot, and I struggle to help those I love make better choices; more informed decisions about their relationships, friendships, careers.

Now, look, high horse and all, my life is not perfect. I am deeply flawed as are many aspects of my life. I lucky enough to have found the love of my life and although we adore each other and have an strong relationship (please hold your gagging for later), we argue about a million different things, both big and small, and things are never perfect...I would never expect them to be. My current job is a large step back from my last one, I never look how I want to (-20lbs), and I have a long-ass list of insecurities. I can be needy, and whiny, and hyper emotional. I am overt, critical, and should really think before I open my mouth 99% of the time.

I have one thing many of my friends do not (and I am so not talking about a boyfriend)- and that is the P word.

Perspective.

I have been there! I have gotten physical with guys too soon and tried desperately to turn what was purely sexual into a relationship. I have let men and women alike walk all over me and have come back for more. I have stayed at a dead end job way too long because I was scared of having to look for a new one. I have convinced myself that I was capable of staying friends with an ex boyfriend when I wasn't and ignored all my friends when they called me an idiot. I have resented all my friends for trying to help me make better choices; more informed decisions about my relationships, friendships, careers.

I am no better than any of my friends. I am exactly the same. As much as I can mean well and try desperately to help everyone get to the place I am at, the place of perspective, they need to learn all the things I learned to get me where I am-

where things are good.

Me, Pre-Perspective----> (can't you tell my blond hair and blue contacts?)