my super-sweet-bat-mitzvah experience
We packed up the LaSabre and headed towards the midtown tunnel. Lots of traffic as per usual especially once we hit the Long Island Expressway. After an hour or we arrived the Oheka Castle in Huntington and looked around both admiring in the incredible gardens and greco-roman inspired statues, and rolling our eyes at the sheer excess of it all.
My mother forget her dress in the city, so when my parents turned around to return to Manhattan [fyi if anyone else would have pulled something like that my mother would have never let him or her forget about it], Liane and I went up to their room to get ready.
My hair and nails, lovely, painted and coifed to perfection at the salon earlier that morning, were ready to go, so it was just a hair touch-up and make-up. To be blunt, Liane and I looked STUNNING.
Even my insanely critical mother was later impressed with how we looked. We cames down after the final spritz of perfume and "hair-check" and entered the library where the photographs were being taken. People were dressed for the Academy Awards! Lia, the Bat Mitzvah Girl, looked like a fairytale princess and sprinted towards us in her designer gown. "Thank god you guys are here! Everyone's being so stuffy and I'm sick of posing for pictures". This is a 13 year old girl, mind you, who in her overacheivements at Horrace Mann Middle School, also finds time to be a champion skier, Ford Model, dancer, skater, and fantastic person. This is my Lia.
Once the three busses [hailing from Manhattan, Horrace Mann, and New Jersey] arrived packed with 13-year-olds giddy with hormones, the party began.
An open bar in every room, caviar, seafood cocktail, endless glasses of wine [both red and white, of course] and champagne, a tempura bar, and passed crabcakes, sesame chicken, and many other yummy things around.
The rooms kept on opening, one after the other, people flooding into them like a house filling with water. Filled with food, drinks, laugher, and expenive designer outfits.
It was insane.
The drunken-high haze lasted until Liane and I hit the comfy king sized bed in out hotel suite at 2am.
Morning brunch woke us up and ended our adventure, but not empty handed. Gift baskets and various souvenirs now fill our kitchen and dining room now to serve as reminder of our evening of excess.
I'm still hung over, but it was all worth it.
in my dreams
living on the waterway
the music makes it fade to grey
sounds of pain
pangs of music
the sun beats down and i've become reclusive
the boardwalk calls to me in rhyme
it's screaming your name all the time
it won't go away
like you did yesterday
i miss the curve of your spine
it's not typical of me
to let the party pass me by
it's so not typical of me
to let the big bad world see me cry
it's not typical of me
to cause a riot, to cause a scene
it's so not typical of me
to start living in my dreams
in my dreams
when i close my eyes in bed
thoughts of you invade my head
you're so sweet
you're so to blame
it's your fault if i will never be the same
you may think i seem angry
you may think this is raw
you've frozen up my heart you see
and it's time for it to thaw
i'm sick of bleeding through my tears
i'm sick of hating you
tell me what i did so wrong
tell me something true
it's not typical of me
to let the party pass me by
it's so not typical of me
to let the big bad world see me cry
it's not typical of me
to cause a riot, to cause a scene
it's so not typical of me
to start living in my dreams
in my dreams
i don't know how to be intimate if i don't have a crowd
my computer is dead.
ahhhh.
this happens all the freakin time and it's making me absolutely nuts.
next time i buy a computer i'm totally getting a mac.
these viruses are bullshit.
so i realized something about myself as of late.
i trust the wrong people a vast majority of the time.
why do i do this?
i like the idea of the most people i meet for than the people themselves and then i always get fucked over and dissapointed.
from now on i will try to see people as how they are and less of how i would like them to be.
very difficult- sounds easy though.
i am so not even in a writing mood but just thought i would vent since i have been seriously avoiding doing work.
i'll write back more creatively later.
yours,
d
tentative song lyrics
will you come?
will you stay?
is it going to last till the end to the day?
i wish there was another way
to tell you what i'm thinking
but the moon is overshed
by the buzzing in my head
it's overwhelming, it's so hard to take
i hear your name reverbarate
and i
want to lie with you
under a star swept sky
seeing passion in your eyes
and you
make me feel this chill
this is more than i can bare
the possibility that you just don't care
oh i stare
at you sleeping in my bed
still this buzzing in my head
and i can't take it
but this moon's still full
i think it's time to face what's real
the difference between how we feel
cheesy sister post...
I had a really long evevning with my younger sister last night and had some thoughts.
Her name is Liane.
She's 18, a student at UMass and my best friend.
She's always been the strong one, the tough one- whereas I was always the sesnative child constantly in need of the approval of others and a pat on the back at all times.
I used to resent her for being so okay with herself, so confident, so thin, so smart without even having to try.
It amazes me how complicated out relationship once was, and that it was able to become what it is now- not nessassarily a sisterly friendship, but a best-friendship.
It is rare to even find that kind of closeness with a life long friend, or even a lover, so i am extremely appriciative of having found it with my sister.
My best efforts at an introduction
I've never really maintained a blog for too long.
I had a livejournal at the beginning of college that I wrote in periodically when I was bored, had a lame quiz result to post [If I was a kind of cheese I would be...Gouda], or had done a new drug and wanted to rant about it.
Either way, I never really wrote in an outlet where it was for me.
It was always so other people could read it, or if I did post something personal and insightful it was usually after I had proofed and edited it so much that it became about other people.
Regardless, I am trying to do something different here.
Many people know me as Donna, the loud, outgoing, fun, crazy, often overly logical, boy crazy, pothead, etc. chick that is always fun, never dull, and always blunt.
This my outlet to offer the other side of this woman- a side that anyone who knows how into being a Gemini I am- is the other twin.
I have a very private side that I don't share. Insecurities that only those who know me well know I have. It's strange that someone as open with herself as I am has entire layer that people don't see.
I am addicted to music and film and television and pop-culture. I knit and write songs, play guitar and belt out showtunes. I work in publicity and know everything about celebs, fashion, and entertainment yet don't really care for uggs, survivor or skinny jeans. I think am the only person in the world that has no interest in watching 24 or Lost and I'm okay with that. I love beat poetry and novels, and in spite of being raised by the only Jewish Republican parents I know, I have a very bohemian side.
I guess my point is that I am a human paradox. I always have been. I know so many people it is often a joke [often dubbed "facebook queen"] but I have never felt popular or cool or even well-liked.
I have always felt I have something to prove.
It has never been about me.
Now that I have graduated school and am beginning my adult life I have resolved to make it about me.
I hope you don't find this self-indulgent or dull, and if you do, don't read it.
See, it is already about you-- this is going to be a long journey.
