cold blue steel and sweet fire
i chose me over you
i could have surrendered
i could have done what i always do
but i chose me over you
it would have been easy
to kiss you and tell you "it's fine"
to have another empty day in bed
knowing you'd never be mine
it was so much harder
to tell you it wasn't enough
knowing you wanted to have and eat your cake
knowing i would call your bluff
i did and this is where we are
maybe we'll never be friends
maybe you'll realize what you gave up
or maybe this is where it ends
either way
i chose me over you
i could have surrendered
i could have done what i always do
but i chose me over you
i'm a mess
tiptoed slowly out your doorway- this morning
then got in my bed and cried all day
i wish the tears could wash your smell away
i wish there was another way
i layed there with you starting at the ceiling
wanting you to hold me like you did
but you just slept
and forgot i was there
i realized you would never care
the excitement used to make me smile
i would sit on your bathroom floor and count the tiles
just to keep from getting too overwhelmed
when you played that song for the 100th time
i asked you who sings it
as if i didn't already know
and i was moved that you would play that song for me
never thinking you probably played it for all your friends
b/c that's how you saw me
i guess i'll never shine like times square
and i won't stop straightening my hair
to wear it wavey for you
i'll never listen to that song without feeling moved
at the end of it all-i miss you
and this empty feeling wont go away
i know i smiled and said i was fine
i lied
liane
i looked up to you
i watched you grow
my little sister
i thought you'd go
to so many places i couldn't reach
be an expert on topics
i could never teach
and now that you've fallen
back under me
shut me out of your very core
i don't know you anymore
